


mortale mundi. ad infinitum

by Orajje



Series: eternity [1]
Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: F/F, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29558334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orajje/pseuds/Orajje
Summary: Homura goes back a few too many times.
Relationships: Akemi Homura/Kaname Madoka
Series: eternity [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2171577
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	mortale mundi. ad infinitum

-1-

Homura looked up to the girl who had saved her. Madoka Kaname. The magical girl who wielded a bow and arrow to destroy witches. Who radiated confidence and happiness.

Then she watched her die, facing a massive, destructive opponent.

In her grief, she made her wish. A wish to be able to protect Madoka.

Later, she would look back and know that that had been when she sealed her fate.

She went back.

-2-

She helped them this time. She fought by their side.

It still wasn’t enough.

She went back.

-12-

They had a team this time. A team of five magical girls. Mami, Sayaka, Kyoko, herself, and Madoka.

Then she watched as it all fell apart before Walpurgisnacht became a factor.

And she committed her greatest sin, at her best friends request.

She went back.

-13-

She watched the massive witch that used to be her best friend swallow the horizon.

She hadn’t been enough. Not alone. Even after she had abandoned what made her weak.

But she couldn’t rely on anyone else.

She would win.

She purified her despair.

And she went back.

-32-

The timeline was going well. She was Madoka’s friend. Even Sayaka liked her, and neither knew about witches, or magical girls.

Then Madoka was assassinated by a magical girl called Oriko Mikuni during an attack on the school.

She went back.

-57-

Madoka contracted to help Mami.

She went back.

-68-

Madoka contracted to save Sayaka from mortal wounds.

She went back.

-77-

She wondered whether this was her curse? Her cost for a wish so bold. That she could always go back, but never succeed.

Madoka died to the shadow witch when Mami slipped up.

She went back.

-89-

She kept track of the timelines. Every timeline she failed, she took Madoka’s ribbons. If they weren’t recoverable, she bought a similar pair in the next timeline.

It was all a reminder of her failures. She couldn’t let herself forget them.

Madoka became a witch against Walpurgisnacht again.

She went back.

-99-

She watched as Mami died. Then Sayaka witched. Then Kyoko sacrificed herself.

She felt the timelines compounding, but ignored it.

Then she fell to Walpurgisnacht once again. But this time with the knowledge that she made Madoka’s fate worse every time.

She almost fell to despair.

But she couldn’t let all that effort be reduced to nothing. Couldn’t let Madoka’s sacrifice be in vain.

~~She didn’t know it, but Madoka died trying to reach her, crushed by debris from a falling building.~~

She went back.

-147-

Madoka got attacked by Oriko again when Homura didn’t keep a close enough eye on the girl, and she had a vision of Gretchen later than usual.

She went back.

-182-

Madoka saved Mami from the sweets witch.

~~She felt despair stain her soul before she cleaned it again. Not noticing the slight, lingering darkness.~~

She went back.

-267-

She watched Madoka get her arms get ripped off right as she entered the labyrinth.

She didn’t even try to stop that contract, a pointless effort.

She went back.

-547-

She watched Sayaka die to a witch. She hadn’t been fast enough. _She couldn't be everywhere._

She watched Madoka's determination peak, and prepared. She'd seen it before. Her resolve had hardened with the death of both Mami and Sayaka to witches.

She wondered why Madoka seemed so dead set on a horrible end… she was the best, kindest, and greatest person she'd ever met. She deserved happiness and a long life. Not the short half life she was being given, over and over and over.

She wondered whether she'd gone insane at some point.

She thought she remembered something about the definition of insanity being doing the same thing, over and over.

She ignores those thoughts.

And she went back

-1000- 

Two thousand ribbons.

One thousand failures.

~~The dark stain on her soul gem, staying no matter how many grief seeds she used, got bigger, by the tiniest sliver.~~

She went back.

-1670-

Another failure.

She went back.

-2893-

Yet another failure.

She went back.

-5258-

Failure.

She went back.

-12349-

She hadn't been keeping track, just grabbing the ribbons.

Grabbing the proof of her failures.

~~The stain almost completely covered her soul gem. Not that she noticed.~~

She failed again.

So she went back.

-21476-

She failed.

Why?

Why?!

She fought, over and over, so many times.

Her friends forgot her.

Her efforts, ineffective.

She struggled against fate. But fate seemed keen on staying the way it was.

Everything blurred together.

She'd long since forgotten what life was like before all this.

She just continued. Hoping she could eventually give Madoka the one thing she was no longer capable of understanding. 

Especially now, as the stain buried every last bit of purple. Leaving her soul gem completely dark.

She realized the casing had long since become silver.

Ah.

She wondered when she became a witch exactly.

It hadn't been the fast, immediate conversion of most.

Not that it mattered. It didn't matter what she was, as long as she saved Madoka.

She went _back._

**_-error-1-_ **

Homulilly, or maybe Homura, not that there was any real difference, watched her success. She'd been able to keep Madoka from contracting. And using the powers she hadn't noticed, she killed Walpurgisnacht.

The Incubator couldn't do anything to her. With her realization came her power. Her karma making her the strongest witch in existence.

The only one stronger, she wouldn't let exist.

So she watched Madoka, trying to protect her as best she could for the rest of her life. Staying by her side, and letting her be happy. Even supported her wedding. ~~Even if some long buried part of her wanted to be the one marrying Madoka, she ignored it. She didn't deserve love.~~

Then Madoka died of natural causes.

But she only had one purpose.

So she went back.

**_-eRroR-_ **

She went back again and again. Each time figuring out how to be better at pretending to be Human so Madoka wouldn't have to worry about her. ~~She didn't deserve it.~~ Each time, she tried to make things a little better, so that ~~her-~~ Madoka's friends were happier. So Madoka was happier. She let Madoka live out the lives she should have been able to. 

Every time, she watched. 

She never quite understood when Madoka tried to do things to make her happy. But if being happy would make her happy, that's what she'd be.

At least for a little while.

It always ended though.

And she always went back.

**_-ERROR-42-_ **

Homulilly had made the timeline as happy as she could. Mami and Kyoko's families were still alive. Kyosuke never had an accident. Sayaka had ended up breaking up with him after awhile though, and was currently dating Kyoko.

Hitomi… didn't need many changes as long as her friends were alive.

And Madoka was happy.

Homulilly stayed by her side though. In case anything tried to rip away that happiness. As well as to keep her happy. Countless lifetimes of built up knowledge, about the world and Madoka made that easy enough.

Usually a good meal was all that was necessary.

Then one day, Madoka said she wanted to speak to her in private. She agreed of course. She would never turn down something Madoka wanted.

Then Madoka confessed to her.

**Madoka** confessed to _Her._

_Why?_

_She didn't deserve it, she was a monster, a witch. An abomination._

_She didn't deserve love-_

The arms around her stopped her thoughts in her tracks… 

oh, she'd said that out loud.

When Madoka tried comforting her, she told her just what a monster she was. Exactly why she shouldn't love her.

Madoka's only response was to hug her tighter, and say one sentence.

"I don't care. I love you anyways."

That caused Homulilly to finally break, and she sobbed for the first time, in a very, _very_ long time.

Madoka held her, as she finally got a chance to express her emotions too.

After that, Homulilly wasn't sure she could go back. So she did the most with what time she had.

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna be throwing a lot of stuff onto this account soon. mostly snippets and whatnot for pmmm.


End file.
